I’m still alive~~

I seem to get into this very often...

So what have I’ve been up to lately? Well getting my life in order I guess. The reason why I haven’t been posting much lately was because my whole group was retrenched, right after Super GT (At least I managed to use the company’s T1 line to upload all my photos before they made the group redundant).

Hence my lack of posts, though that’s not to say I was inactive. I did go to Bon Odori 2010 just to relax and forget my worries for a while.

It’s funny, 2 years in this company and I get retrenched again. Damn just my luck. At least they gave quite a nice severance package (a few months even though I only worked for 2 years) as compared to my last employer who basically didn’t give shit but what do you expect from an MNC operating in a free-trade zone?

So I decided to take this as an opportunity to bum out for a month before deciding on what to do next. Though I spent most of it catching up on many things,

  1. Moving out of my place since the landlord was selling the place. Moved in with my Brother and his wife.
  2. Clean out a lot of junks I didn’t need anymore since I moved down to KL
  3. Worked on improving my photography skills.
  4. Deciding to brush up on my Linux programming skills, its been more than 4 years since I work in Linux at Intel.

Though truth be told, I was just stalling for time on what to do next. Sooner or later I would need to face the odious of deciding my future. There was a lot of self-reflection and soul-searching but it had to be done. So when I finally did everything to delay this inevitable tasks, I spent another few more weeks thinking on what to do next…….

I had never thought on what to do next…..

Usually I just play the cards I’m dealt with, never waiting for anything better. I make choices and I carry them out, whether they were right or wrong for me. I never had a set goal or target. I just simply went along with life, not kicking and screaming away at it when I should have been to get what I wanted.  Because I always thought you could never win at life.

I thought long and hard, grown fed-up with being a software developer and initially I thought of actually moving back to my hometown and work for my father in his civil engineering firm.

Heck, I even began to make plans and preparation to go back when for the first time in my life.

I felt I didn’t want to go back

There would be nothing for me there. But then what was here for me in KL?

More misery?

What was I working toward?

What goals?

And sure enough, I realized I never had any, I put it off thinking about it and spent most of my time re-learning programming in Linux (I had been doing windows programming for 4 years and I realized what a lame programmer I had become using Windows). I used to love this shit! What happened?

After a while, I remember the reason why I love programming and I wanted to do this for a living (although I still love photography as well but then I don’t want it to be a job). It was the thrill of developing software, testing debugging and solving a major problem with computers. The more I got back into Linux programming the more I realized I had forgotten. Damn, it was such a thrill! It was like tasting your long lost favorite favor of ice-cream! Sweet and just the way you remembered it! I remembered why I got into this business!

I then got off my laurel and went looking for a job developing in Linux and found it! I realized the only time I enjoyed working was when I was at Intel developing software in Linux. I always found Windows programming to be so boring! Sure Microsoft has made some fantastic tools to development but I didn’t understand anything behind their framework. It had alway been a blackbox to most people. But with Linux/Unix/Solari, I could just ripped it open and understand it.

So here I am again, this time I feel so much better now. In some ways, the retrenchment was a good thing, I got paid a lot of moola,  remembered why I love programming and got an even better job!

Also for those who may not know, I decided to get the spanking new 27 inch imac~~~:P with Linux installed as a Parallel guest OS. So yeah! Awesome sauce!

4 thoughts on “I’m still alive~~

  1. Sorry to hear about your old job, but it’s good to see that you’ve found something even better. Sometimes something bad can turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

  2. Lex, you are still a spendtrift….. you should sell off your gear aka cameras..and don’t think that small compensation is that much…. just want the best for you…. how about doing something more constructive besides your new job like looking for a life partner? 🙂 hahaha

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