Do not make me jump through hoops

I don’t mean the actual sense, metamorphically speaking of course. Whether it’s for a Job interview (Photography related assignment or day job). I think I speak for everyone when they have encountered situations like this, “Do not make me jump through hoops”

Just so you can test me thoroughly. In the sense of a job interview (day job), I can take the really tough question in verbal such as “If given such a (insert scenario), how would you best handle it when under such (insert constraint)”. I wouldn’t even mind the short 30 minute skill test.

But what I do really hate is the insane skill tests where they drop in front of you a ten page exams sheet (which they require you to finish in 2 hours, with clear written words along with annotation as well as only using 2B pencils, it makes me feel like I am doing the final exam for the interviewer’s kid!) which ask the most insane question such as (I was actually asked this stupid question in my last few job interviews back then)

“If a pond had 30 hippos and half of them were pink and the 2/3 of then were purple, and so also fat and such such, fly with Kryptonian like powers etc and etc…..”

(My opinion: My GOD! What the hell is this? If this is a logic test then the first thing I want to ask is, is the pond the hippos are standing in previously a toxic waste dump!? Why are the hippos of weird freaking colors and can fly?! This logic question present even more baffling questions then the “how many” questions! Seriously! If you want to create a logic question, make one that actually makes sense! It’s like it was written by a drunk retard!)

Here is my favorite one actually which I think they took from a Sheldon comic:

“Little Timmy has 100 apples with him and he gives one to every fifth friend he meets with a green tie during the day. How many friends in total would he have met by the time he had ran out of apples?”
(My opinion: What motherfucking asshole carries with him 100 apples?! If you wanted to test my math, a better idea would be to just put the question in mathematically form instead of phrasing it in such child like manner. Are interviewee looked down so bad by interviewers!? Or did the person making the question  was stumped when his/her kid came up to him/her asking how to answer this same question and decided to get someone else to do it for them for free?!)

This is how I determine whether a job is worth taking even if they offer me the position. As I said, I don’t mind be thrown the occasional 30 minute skill test, but some of these tests that take 2 hours and must be done with 2B pencils are just ridiculously stupid!

It’s like they are scientists and are experimenting on how a monkey would react when you put a banana in front of it!

So even if they offer me more then what I expect, I wouldn’t accept as I know their company treats you nothing more then a bleeding monkey!

There are also a few of them who would keep asking you to come to many rounds of interviews without so much to compensate for your travel expenses and what’s worse every round of interview by the same company seem to be in different place everytime! It’s like they are testing how good are you by how fast or desparate you are to meet them and also by how much you are willing to pay for petrol/bus/train/plane/painkillers to get to them.

It also seems that for each round of the interview they seems to always ask the same question as they just wanted to give you the run around to “test” you.

Anyway that is what I have to say for the day job sense.

That brings me to the second part of job interviews but for the photography related sense:
I’ll be honest, I can “sometimes” understand why clients for these jobs can give me such a hard time since a lot of money is involed. They can be classify into 2 types of people:

1. The professional people – They don’t especially like to work with unproven people since there is a lot of money involved.
But from the pros I have worked with, if they like what you gave them for a photo shoot, you’re very likely to be in their “To get” list for their next job or the “To FORget” list if you screw up, which is fine by me since it was my fault as I didn’t prove my worth. Usually such people consist of photo editors who work for big photo agencies.

2. The UNprofessional people – If you’re already a very well known seasoned pro photographer, be prepared for 2 things which are that they will expect you to give them photos better then those shown in the Times magazine for less then $100 and they expect you to know what they want without them telling you.
But if you’re not a seasoned pro photographer, prepare for hell as they don’t think that you are worth hiring for their “esteemed project AKA “Jump through the hoops of shame or fire” depending on how crazy they are..
They will ask you to do a few test assignments for them first before they even consider you for their main job and they expect you to do it for free while riding on a unicycle and bringing about world peace. An example of the “many tests” they will set you on, is to shoot for free their family portrait, their dogs, make their 2 ugly looking unmarried spinter nieces look like princess Diana…..for free. Usually such people consist of everyone else NOT willing to spend a lot of money and are NOT photo editors for big photo agencies.

From these brief explanations, it is very obvious one should stay the fuck away from the UNprofessionals but sadly, they are the most common clientele. Do not let this get you down as the case I have described is actually the worse case scenario. There are a lot of really nice people to work with in the unprofessional category, what I am telling you is know how to tell the good unprofessionals from the bad unprofessionals. That sadly is even more art than photography itself.

So until my next ranting article, pleasant dreams~~

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