I replied in a “As a matter of fact” tone, “I prefer a short good life. In fact, I’ll be more specific then that, I rather have a good life for the next years to live out my dreams and I will be willing accept my imminent death by any methods without fear or regret, hell I would even choose to die by cancer which would result in me dying a horrible death. As I long as I get to live my dreams for ten years which is to see the world. Given the choice I would even sell my soul to the devil as my life is already so miserable thanks to God”.
The expression on my friend’s face was simply priceless, the sheer look of horror on his face. He thought I was joking but I was dead serious. I would even sign the papers right now if it gave such conditions!
I have found that living a long life is not what it’s cracked to be. I have found that having a fun life is more important then “living long”. Hence why I will never settle down, I rather die young right now if someone told me that the rest of my life is boring and always stuck in Malaysia. It’s not worth living if it’s going to be long and boring. But then if someone offer me to live long and happy, I would also reject it. A fun life is always best lived short.
It’s not that I don’t value my life, no wait. I don’t value life that much anymore after what I have been through. I find that for all I have been through I do believe I deserve better, but it seems hard work alone doesn’t get me anywhere. Hence now why I do things so recklessly in my own social circle. I don’t give a rat’s ass how other people value my life, you’re not living it. You don’t know what I have been through and I don’t want to hear your sob story about your own suffering. That belongs to you so keep it to yourself, I want to live a joyous life and if it means it will be a short one then so be it!
I am fed up with all this objectives of saving up for what? the future? Please I do not intend to live more then another decade or 2 if my life is going to be crap. This is how I go about living my life now, I know it is crap hence why I am now living it to maximize all my personal joy and I don’t intend to live long. So until then pleasant dreams!